Dubai. The city full of life. It’s hustle and fleeting style makes me feel cringy. I would prefer the less noisy at the same time grand and luxurious capital city to it. These photos were captured by when I visited UAE last April.
I started bullet journalling six months back. It was during my summer holidays that I realized how nice a thing this is. Me along with my sister started it and it soon became a family thing. I lost that initial excitement and completely fell out of track in some months but now I have fallen again in love with it. It has helped me vent out my pent up emotions and made me feel light and brought me close to my day to day activities.
This is my October spread which I designed two days back after watching a YouTube video of AmandaRach Lee. I’m not an artist and I honestly doesn’t know how to draw. But bujo is that one place where you can manage to be imperfect isn’t?
Conquer your fears or the fear will conquer you.” What a well said quote that is. I captured these photographs from a 30 meter tall lighthouse. Now, there’s nothing extraordinary in it, only that I’m awfully scared of heights. Height badly scares me.Once, I have been to this beautiful view point where I had to climb a long staircase to see the view. I climbed like a ten or fifteen steps, and I walked back. Thanks to the fear that was gurgling in my stomach.
And then there was this hill where I did the same thing. I climbed half of it and walked down. I was literally paralyzed with fear that day. But I visited the place once again after many years as a part of school excursion, and I climbed it quite successfully. I felt like Edmund Hilary when he conquered Mount Everest.But the fear still refused to leave me completely. During some random days, it would get me when I’m climbing down a staircase.From the moment we planned to visit the lighthouse, my heart has been running a marathon. “To be or not to be” that was the question. I had seen my friends climbing this while in college. But when I thought about the height, I buried the whole thing in mind and sealed it off. A part of my heart wanted to climb it and see how my town looks from the top, and another part fought valiantly against it.I lied down in bed going through the pros and cons. I asked myself “what’s the worst that can happen.” And my brain as smart as it is presented me with a handful of opportunities including getting a concussion when I reach the top, having to climb down from the half etc. But I made the choice. I decided to beat it once again.As my car moved on, the picture of a cute lighthouse from Enid Blyton’s ‘Famous Five’ series came up to my mind. The Kirrin Island and the thrilling adventures filled my mind. Fear was playing a peekaboo. I repeated the mantra that “you can do this.” And there it was, towering before me with a crooked smile. If I were alone, I would have driven back at that instant.As my little cousins walked joyfully, I walked hesitatingly towards it.The wind was too strong, and we waited at the door to walk in.Phew!! There it was. The long winding staircase. I told myself not to look down and I walked through the side that was adjacent to the wall. At every turn, there was a small window which looked out into the sea. I would stand there looking at it for a few minutes and then climb the steps again. I had wanted to capture a picture of the winding staircase from the top steps. But I couldn’t muster the courage to do it. I pressed myself against the wall.We reached to the top where there was a control room with big machinery. We were told to wait as the wind was too strong. I let out a sigh. Task one have been completed good and well. Now, the real game begins.
We walked in one by one. And the sprawling sea was before us. It was drizzling slightly. I captured few photographs. I was standing close to the wall of lighthouse and didn’t dare to walk to the front where there was a rail to hold on to enjoy the view. I walked to the different sides of it and breathed in the mesmerizing view. The wind became strong now and then.The lighthouse was built around 80’s. Since then it have been guiding numerous ships with its light. Wouldn’t it have seen pirates and sea monsters? Wouldn’t it have seen those miracles in the sea that none of us have ever seen? I wish you could speak Mr.Lighthouse. I would like to hear you. From the control room came voices. Maybe it was a sailor in a ship somewhere in the sea. How marvelous is its work. Now I know why George and the team loved it so much.
However, I was relieved when we started our way back to the ground. I stopped every often, took a breath and continued downwards.When I stood on the final step, I knew I have done it. We had few splashes in the beach and built a fancy sand castle and walked back towards the car with a cheerful heart and beaming at the lighthouse.Unlike the Famous Five, don’t expect me back there any time soon. I had rather fancy to be on the ground than be up there.
I haven’t been out with my camera lately. Firstly because I have become so lazy and secondly, I don’t have my team around me. A solo expedition seems weary to me now. A Great Outdoor is the theme for this week’s #SundayStills.
These photos portray The Capital Park in Abudhabi. I had spent my summer holidays there. An evening stroll through the beautiful garden was really soothing.
Anxiety. Just five letters but it can give five decades of hell life. If you, who is reading this post happens to be a victim of this ruthless monster then I want you to know that I feel for you and you are nothing less than a survivor and a hero.
It’s not easy to live with a brain that can only think negative and worry about it. All you can think of is unpleasant scenarios (made up ones mostly) and you think and think and it starts to feel true. Anxiety can easily ruin a day or a week or months. It can kill the sleep, take away the joy and push you to the fathomless pit of darkness and misery. When fear wraps its shroud around you it takes a damn lot of determination to shake it off.
You start fearing basically everything starting from the blaring of the phone to that look of a near one. You just remain where you are avoiding all those stuff which can trigger your fear but still it somehow finds its way back. Anything could have pushed you down the pit. It could be something in your past, something haunting your present or some mistake that you made. The brain works out a very strange connection between the thing that one fears attaching it with basically anything and anyone that you see around.
It’s like the brain is already prepping the body for the danger that’s not there most of the times. One suffering from anxiety seems to hold himself responsible for anything that goes wrong around him. He is in a constant fear of upsetting his dear and near.
Sometimes we just forget that we all make mistakes. Sometimes big sometimes small. But that’s what humans do. We aren’t perfect. And the world doesn’t appear to be what it is sometimes. If you know a friend who is writhing under the grasp of this terrible misery, wrap a hand around them give them a hug and let them know that you are there. Becuase you don’t know what they are going through everyday. How much of a struggle they are putting in to face the world when their insides are churned by deep fear and worry.
Anxiety is not just worrying. It’s constant worry and fear. You feel that something terrible is always on its way. You sort out one thing take a sigh and there is the next. Well thank you brain!!. Fear is a terrible emotion. Never ever try to exploit it for any reason for it can destroy the person forever.
I have always thought of writing this post. People usually tend to talk about physical illness with much sadness but do we ever express our support for those warriors who fight a grave battle each day? Who live in a bubble of worry and yet move around with a smile? If no then we should. Theirs is the most toughest of all battles becuase they are alone against the claws of fear which can leave deep scars on mind and the person. Meet them talk to them let them count on you. Because
This fellow thought of visiting our backyard today. Heat is soaring up and he came in search of water. I had to play a hide and seek with him to capture these shots. But sadly my lens isn’t working properly for last two days. I can’t get sharp images anymore. Everything is blurry blurry like the picture below.
I think its dust and it’s really annoying and sad as well. I’m waiting for the cleaning kit to arrive. I hope it will solve the issue. #fingerscrossed..
This is just a comparison and also an exploration for my older self. The one I can see radiating in all the older posts. I started blogging here back in 2016. A lot of changes have happened in life since then. I moved to another college for my Post graduation. I moved to a new home. Thefirst one made me collapse. I wanted to enroll in a reputed university out of my state. I wanted to move out and start afresh. But life landed me somewhere else. I was pretty happy in there but again fate came as a villain. I had to give up my job and enroll in a campus which I had absolutely disliked.
However the starting days were good and I decided to give my best. And it did pay off. But soon the change started to wrap in a shroud of black. My heart started to yearn for my old pals and campus. I started having this constant feeling about how I’m stuck somewhere I don’t belong at all. Each second mind seems to regret it’s decision of staying back here instead of moving away. The pessimistic mind which had degraded and smudged my soul once has come back again draining hope and filling in fear. I can feel myself changing into someone else. Someone stranger to me. That’s when I thought of going through my old blog posts.
I couldn’t help but yearn for that older self which was too carefree and bold at the same time. It had no worries and didn’t care about anyone or anything. The one who had buried the hatchet forever.
Ofcourse life is a rollercoaster ride. And my older scribblings have made me believe that no matter how long the night is day always finds its way. Somewhere along the track my mind started bothering too much about what people will think. Its that which sowed the seeds of fear inside.
By the end of last month it’s been scorching heat here. But now I can see dark clouds rumbling in the cloud. I can feel the cool breeze. I can feel a fresh beginning…